I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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