O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
