i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
