the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Who died my cat blue again?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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