Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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