hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize