i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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