My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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