That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
