eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
