is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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