The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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