in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
