Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
