We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
