Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
