i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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