You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
