That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't deserve a penis
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
