the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
