I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
