GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
