Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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