Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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