they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
