Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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