just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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