i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
