I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
