do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
