i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
