y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
