in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
