Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
