two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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