I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
