When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
