I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
