Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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