We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
