Me too!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm always down for nudity.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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