Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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