he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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