He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
