i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
