Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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