how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
