and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
