office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize