I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
