Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
