Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
