don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
