Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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