It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
