I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How does one acquire holy water?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
