the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
