OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize