well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
