Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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