So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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