He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
