a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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