arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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