They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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