Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
