Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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