i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i think i just lost a toe
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
