Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
