but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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