You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
