I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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